Thirty years. How did we get here? I’m not one to dread the numbers increasing each year because the alternative is pretty dim (get old, or die), but each new number makes me reflect. 

Maybe you’re there now, or maybe you’re looking back on your own journey. As I’ve been reflecting on this new decade, I’ve realized a few things that I really wish I could go back and tell my younger self and am often having to remind myself. And maybe, just maybe, these are things you need to hear today.

1. No job is worth your peace of mind and morals.

Do not apologize for putting yourself first. You were made for a purpose, but that purpose isn’t to be a workhorse for someone else’s gain. It’s so easy to get caught up in the grind, to let a demanding boss or a high-pressure environment steal your joy and compromise what you know is right. I’ve been there, thinking I had to push through because I was so passionate about what I was doing. But a job is a part of your life, not your whole life. You need to protect your spirit and your integrity. Your peace of mind is more valuable than any title or salary. If a job is chipping away at who you are, it’s not the right fit. It’s okay to step back and find a path that honors you and your values. It’s okay to explore new avenues and fail – as long as you’re failing forward in pursuit of what makes you whole, healthy, and fulfills your purpose for being placed on this earth. Your well-being is worth more than any deadline. At the end of the day, your job will replace you faster than you think, and you’ll be a blip in their corporate machine. Don’t put your worth and health on the line for something that doesn’t value you.

2. Life isn’t going to turn out like you thought.

Remember that carefully crafted life plan you made? Yeah, me too. I had it all laid out in my head—the timeline for everything I thought my life would be. And then life actually happened. It threw me curveballs I never saw coming, sent me down detours I didn’t plan for, and introduced me to people I never expected to meet. It’s easy to get frustrated when things don’t go according to your script, but what I’ve learned is that the most beautiful parts of the story are often the ones you didn’t write. The unexpected friendships, the spontaneous adventures, the lessons learned from setbacks—those are the moments that truly shape you. God has a better plan than we could ever dream up. He doesn’t waste a single step, even the ones that feel like a detour. Don’t let your plan get in the way of God’s plan. It may not be what you want, and you might even begrudge it at times, but don’t give up and don’t doubt Him.

3. Be yourself regardless of what others say.

This is a big one, especially for us girls. We spend so much of our lives trying to fit in, to be what we think others want us to be. We change our clothes, our hobbies, even our opinions, just to fit the mold others have crafted for us. But you know what? People’s opinions don’t matter, and more often than not, they’re projecting their insecurities and unhappiness on you. The people who truly love you will love you for who you are, in all your perfectly imperfect glory. The people who don’t… well, their opinion doesn’t matter anyway. Be that light that you were made to be. Don’t hide your quirks, your passions, your beliefs, or your dreams to make someone else comfortable. You are a unique, brilliant masterpiece, and the world needs to see the real you. Your voice, your heart, your story—they are powerful. Don’t let anyone dim your light.

BONUS: Stand strong on your beliefs.

My headstrong firmness in standing up for what I know to be true and right has cost me many relationships, grades, and opportunities over the years. But looking back, I am so proud of the girl that (at many a time) stood alone against the crowd, boldly refusing to bow down to what she knew to be wrong. Did it cost me the life I thought I wanted at a young age? Possibly. Did it cost me relationships? Most definitely. Did it cost me grades? For sure. But what it didn’t cost me was my soul and peace of mind. One thing I wish I could drive home to every person, especially young women, is to not cower to the mob and not be afraid to stand boldly alone in the storm. You’re stronger than you think. You’re braver than you could ever imagine. And if you need someone to remind you, let me know!