Until now, this area of my life has been one of extreme privacy. Sharing this always makes me feel like the most cliche Christian Girl there is. But that is not the intention of my actions or saying the following. I, in no way, am sharing this in order to make myself sound incredibly holy. Please do not see it as that.
With that disclosed: happy reading, friends
For as long as I can remember, I have been praying for the man I will one day marry. I pray for our future marriage. I pray for our future children. I pray for his parents. I pray for his current choices. I pray for his friends. I pray for whatever may pop into my head, or I feel the urge for.
In October 2008, some of my youth leaders challenged me to make a list of “My Perfect Guy”. A list to hold as a reminder of what I was looking for in my future spouse. A reminder of where I wanted to end up. An accountability tool to hold throughout the years ahead. I placed this list in my Bible in the Scripture that has served as God’s promise to me since He first made this particular promise.
I have kept that original list in the exact same spot ever since. However, I have added, removed, and prioritized certain items over the years as I have grown and better grasped what the Lord has placed in my heart.
Over the years, I have often found myself thinking about what this future man of mine may be doing or going through, like every typical girl ever.
All of these thoughts, and so many more, led me into praying for him and whatever situation/need came to mind. The endless prayers/words began to seem insufficient and fleeting over time. I wanted something tangible that I could pour into and keep over time. As someone who loves to write, I decided to begin writing to him.
Yes – I know.
Writing to someone I don’t even know yet?
How crazy can I be?
I know how insane this may seem. Trust me, it seems crazy to me at times as well.
I began to write random notes.
Some significant – Others quite random.
Not always profound.
Not always drawn out letters – Often quick musings.
Starting this helped make him more of a real person, instead of an unfathomable being out there in space somewhere to begin existing only when we meet and marry.
Writing and praying for him helps make him real.
Writing and praying for him helps keep me focused.
As someone to whom the Lord has given a very specific calling and promise, it is helpful for me to have this method of output that draws me back when I begin to wander. It gives me hope when I start to doubt and lose faith – renews my passion for the future – most importantly this reminds me of God’s faithfulness in my life.
When I write to or pray for this man, I remember that there is someone out there somewhere who will someday become my lifelong partner and best friend – I want to be able to present myself to him without any regrets – I want to remember the days spent preparing and praying for him – I want to look back and see how it all worked together as a beautiful picture. I want to be able to give him this box full of notes and letters that show him how much he has been loved for a very long time. Show him that even when he was not physically present, the Lord was placing him and his needs of my heart. I want to be able to look and remember how the Lord so beautifully orchestrated each and every aspect of our individual lives coming together as one.
Lord willing, one day I will give that wonderful man of mine a box which contains years of dedication, love, tears, and prayers expressed through notes and letters. I will give him a glimpse into my past – a glimpse into how my love for him carried me through some of the most difficult times – a glimpse into how he was in my heart long before I knew him – a glimpse into how God worked through us even before we were united.
If you have a promise in your heart which you are waiting for, I encourage you to spend time in prayer and reflection to see what the Lord would have you do in this season to actively prepare for your promise. Whether it be the promise of a spouse, child, career, home, friend – whatever that promise is, take hold of it now and don’t let it go or sit idly by. The Lord places things within us which often take years to unfold, so do not give up hope and lose pursuit simply because His timeline is different than your own.