Faith, Lifestyle, Relationships

Singleness As A Gift

Hello, beautiful people. Let me introduce myself. 

I am a 24 year old, single lady.

GASP

Better yet: I am a 24 year old, single, Christian lady with a heart for ministry.

MAJOR GASP

Are y’all still with me? Did I lose any of you yet due to the shocking revelations about myself?

Yes. I am fully aware that I am in the minority over here. I am at that stage in life where everyone is getting married off and having babies. Let’s face it, every time I turn around a friend is getting engaged, married, announcing a pregnancy, or having a baby. Also, how in the world am I, a single young woman, expecting to be in ministry without a man? How dare I, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, take a puff of your inhaler and settle in for even more shocking news. 

All of that to say, I am constantly being made aware of my life taking a vastly different path than most people my age. I am also often “lovingly” reminded of how “strange” my life is from most people my age. The questions and comments mostly come out of love from people who genuinely know me. However, some comments are more poignant than others. 

For example: One of the most rememberable conversations I’ve had about this topic went like this: the other spiritual leader asked me if I had any plans of getting married and starting a family anytime soon, when I responded with my prepared “no, not at the moment” I received a very heavy sigh and “wow, that’s so sad for you” in response. Yes, this is a real response I regularly get. Understand though that after going to a “Ring by Spring” University, I am used to the questions and am always prepared with an answer. At this age and stage of my life, I’m used to the questions and brush them off with a laugh. However, the response I received to my answer this particular time hit me rather hard. I then festered on that response for the rest of the day. Okay, I lied… I festered on it for a few days… and maybe still get a little salty when I think about it. 

WHY is my life so sad to other people because the Lord has something unique in mind for my life?

HOW am I supposed to respond to those dejected responses from people that think I am so lonely?

WHAT has gotten us to this point in society that looks down upon a young woman for not going out and eternally attaching herself to the first thing that comes along?

WHO says I cant live a fulfilling life without a man by my side?

WHEN did we begin to think it was okay to blatantly put down people who are on paths different than our own?

I am fully aware that my life is not like most of my friends, or even most people my age. I am fully aware that my life has not gone according to the life plan 5-year old me concocted of how her life would pan out. My life plan has changed dramatically from the optimistic, organized, 17 year old me so boldly and ignorantly made. 

However, I am fully aware of what the Lord has called me to. I am fully aware of every promise He has made to me since age 5. I am fully aware that His timetable for my life is perfect and the story He is writing through and for me is perfectly written. I am fully aware that a lot of work needs to be done before He moves me into that next season of life.

This season the Lord currently has me in is one I will never get back once Mr. Man (yep, he’s already got a nickname) makes his grand entrance. This is such a beautiful season where I am fully and completely alone with God. The beauty of this time is something I do not want to take for granted and cast aside. There are things in this life that I can only accomplish during this season of singleness. This is a season where I am solely responsible for myself, no one else. There are plans the Lord has for me that can only be fulfilled in this season. I do not want to miss out on all that He has for me NOW because I am so wrapped up in what He has for me LATER. God has things that He wants to grow in me, instill in me, and fulfill in me before I am joined to another soul for the rest of my life. 

When we join our individual life with the individual life of another human, we become one. However, I believe we have twisted that into believing we are each a half until that person comes along. RED FLAG. No. No. No. I do not want the priest of my home and father of my children to be half of a man. No. I do not want to be half of a wife and half of a mother. No. I am a whole person with a whole calling on her life with a whole purpose to fulfill. I fully expect my future husband to be a whole person with a whole calling on his life with a whole purpose to fulfill. And once each of our whole selves comes together, we can become one whole together to fulfill the unique calling and purpose the Lord has for us together. 

Until that time, I do not intend to sit around moping and wallowing in self-pity because the Lord has selected me for a unique purpose. Now, I’m not saying I won’t still daydream and plan for the future, I am human after all. I am saying that I will not place those ideals as a priority in my life. 

So you can pity, sigh, gasp, and shake your head at the way my life is unfolding, but just know that I am doing the complete opposite. I am embracing every crazy, unexpected, insane, beautiful, and gracious thing He has in store for me every step of the way. I am actively and excitedly preparing for the day the Lord opens the door for me to walk into the next season of life by fully embracing the current season. This season is a gift I can never get back and I want to do everything I can before I lose it. 

Beware: If you ask me when I’m getting married and starting a family, just know you probably have a better chance asking God because I don’t have that answer yet.